It has been a really hard day today (as in yesterday since it's 0138 AM already).
I swear it was the worst day throughout my whole life here.
I was scolded badly, and humiliated and there was really nothing I could do or say to back myself up.
Because I was obviously at fault, but it was my first time..and the lecturer told me off as is I had been doing it many times already.
I agreed and nodded to everything she said but actually it was because I was holding back my tears from flowing down my cheeks that I wasn't able to say a thing.
I couldn't look into her eyes because I could seriously break down right at that exact moment.
Then I walked to my friend, keeping a straight face.
I acted like it didn't hurt me a bit, like it hadn't bother me a bit, like I didn't even give a damn.
But she suddenly asked, "Are you okay?"
And the tears rolled down and I could not stop it no matter how hard I bit my bottom lip.
We sat at the corner of a staircase and were just in silence for about 20 minutes.
I didn't want to talk about it, and she didn't know what to say.
I didn't want her to say anything too, though.
It was nice enough of her to still be on my side.
I got back to the room and reached out for the towel.
And I stayed for more than 30 minutes in the shower. Crying.
Because it was seriously, a fucking bad day.
I had a lot of things in my mind that I could say to defend myself, but I didn't, to respect her and to not create another problem.
It was the saddest January ever.