Faker

Not much time left before I start studying again.



Will fake laughter again and again.


Oh it won't be that hard, I've been faking for two years.



Of course I can endure another year.

Ada apa dengan K-POP.

TAKDE APE.


Hmm another Tuesday.
I kinda like the fact that I'm anonymous..so I can set this blog as my diary and even if people who know me do view this blog, they have no idea I am the owner and knowing I can write any fucking things I want in here, makes it a lot better.

BTW I got offered for Foundation in TESL.

Maybe I'll accept it. Maybe not. But most probably I will.


I'm not really interested in teaching anything to anyone, not even a single person, what more a group of freaking annoying students, so accepting this offer is really a big thing.




I have my own dreams..and it's far from being a teacher or a lecturer.




But you see my mom says I kinda will be able to have a bright future if I just keep trying and hold on to it till the end, and that's what I'm doing. I'll just accept it, see where it takes me, and along the way, if I find that I like it, now that'd be perfect. If I still don't like it, I'll keep moving until the end. 

No turning back once I step in it.





My dreams? I will never stop chasing it.

Bodoh hidup ni.

Aku sebenarnya sangat terperangkap.

Sebagai seorang perempuan, pandangan orang lain terhadap aku akan menyerong 179 darjah kalau dengar aku memaki. Tak lah sampai mencarut, sebut kemaluan-kemaluan macam tu. Tak. Aku memang anti main sebut benda tu sume. Macam, natang. Beruk. Taik. 
Semuanya bawak maksud haiwan (binatang), seekor binatang daripada keluarga monyet (beruk), dan seekor lagi haiwan yang harus sertu jika tersentuh bahagian-bahagian tertentu padanya (babi).


Kalau ikut kan semua pun boleh sebut kan. Hmm. Bodo ar.


Maki dalam hati je lah aku ni.

Kalau cakap depan-depan mesti kata tak manis lah. Tak elok didengar la.



So just go to hell with that quote 'Just be yourself'. Bullshit semua. 
Kalau aku jadi diri sendiri aku dah lama pergi tarik sanggul Rosmah. Pastu offer tudung.


Dengki natang. 
Aku yang lagi muda pon rambut tak lebat camtu.

-----

Aku rasa sejak kebelakangan ni aku stressed pasal something la. Sebab tu sibuk nak marah maki marah maki sana sini. Tapi pasal apa ek.




Pasal Wan bengong tu kot. 




I'm that kind of girl who says 'I'm giving up on you' every night just to wake up the next morning giving him another chance -which of course, goes direct to the bin again.



Sekarang aku bodoh ke dia bodoh. Kadang-kadang memang ar cakap rugi kau bodo Wan ignore aku macam kulit makanan tepi jalan. 
Tapi masa lain bila fikir dalam-dalam tak guna tunggu dia lagi. Dah lama kot.
Tapi tetap jugak.


Bodoh betul la sepatutnya bagi penyepak free kat diri sendiri ni. Tapi camne ek nak sepak diri sendiri?



Bila tah nak berhenti jadi bodoh.
Sebenarnya bukan takde pilihan lain. Sumpah kalau aku paling muka dari Wan memang tak susah pun aku nak bagi peluang dekat orang lain tu. Tapi hati ngan otak ni bangang bengong! Tak nak kerjasama!



Bongok.




p/s: Aku nak update pasal hidup aku sebenarnya tapi bodoh amat menyimpang terus dari niat.

I'm not

I'm not one of them..certainly not.
I'll wait for you, you know.



I won't leave.