[If given the chance, would I turn back time to before SPM? A thousand times, YES.]
BUT.
I've been wanting this moment badly for the past 18 months.
The moment when the paper 3 or Biology was collected from my table.
Yes.
When SPM is over. And it has, yesterday.
.........
Soon as the paper was collected, I turned to T. My eyes watered a bit.
Drew a big smile. She smiled, too.
It was the smile that only both of us knew the meaning.
That no one can really understand what's behind it. Very hard to figure, too.
The thing is, throughout the past few months we had been through a lot of..very lots of heartbreaking moments. Where our patience level had to be increased to the limit. Where we finally sat in silence because we had let out everything with each other, and we had known each other so well that words no longer needed to express. Where our sighs were filling the atmosphere and all we could do was staring at the entrance gate and imagined our last day.
That day was yesterday. :)
Like me, I could assure that you, at any moment when you were packing or in the car on your way home or already in your bedroom, had at least teared a bit.
Of happiness of relief, of course.
...
I've never really wanted to leave high school, you know.
I know when I'm alone I'd miss our moments together so much. Not just us, also us with them.
I hate the feelings of missing things or people, or wanting to go back to the old days.
I've felt it many times, as I've been transferring from a school to another for quite a number of times during high school.
I hate it. It's as if trying to tell me that happiness, just like sadness, is temporary.
I love each of sweet memories created there.
I wouldn't, in any situation, trade them with anything.
T..
I know you love high school. We both do.
However..as much as we love school, we wanted to leave it as soon as we could.
The only reason, I believe, was because our choice of high school was wrong. :)
We're not happy there. We couldn't really study due to emotional issues.
We shared too many hard times. We were aliens, that's why. Nay.
It's okay. Humans make mistakes.
Because we're humans too, we made mistakes.
And our mistakes were the same, making the wrong choice.
It's okay. Those hard times were the consequences, which had ended yesterday.
So it's okay now.
You and I, we are now out of it. We're so happy, and I love it so much, and I know you do, too.
We have finally come to it, T.
I have a lot to say to you. I want to thank you for every great moments and for lending your ears every time I came to you with red eyes. For bearing my swinging moods. For standing my (sometimes) bad attitudes. I want to say sorry for every time that I wasn't there for you when all you needed was someone to hear you out. I want to shake your hand tightly and let you forehead-kiss it as you always tried to (cause it differentiates the older and younger one) and let you know that you're a treasure.
That I am more than grateful for your existence in my life.
